


now i stand alone (where do i go from here?)

by SiderumInCaelo



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Ficlet, Gen, Guilt, Introspection, allusions to past dumbledore/grindelwald and credence/grindelwald
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 22:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13599516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiderumInCaelo/pseuds/SiderumInCaelo
Summary: Albus wonders what, if anything, he should say to Credence.





	now i stand alone (where do i go from here?)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from the song "My Fault" by Imagine Dragons.

Albus watches Newt and his younger assistant, Credence, walk across the Hogwarts grounds to the lake. Newt had written him a week earlier, explaining that they had rescued an illegally-kept giant squid and that he thought the Great Lake would be an ideal habitat for it, so would Albus mind if he and Credence came by to release it? Albus had agreed, partly because he does like the idea of adding a squid to the list of creatures that call Hogwarts home, but also because it would give him a chance to observe Credence.

Albus had followed the news of Gellert’s exploits in America, and Newt had mentioned in earlier letters that Credence had been “manipulated” by him. The exact nature of the manipulation, Albus doesn’t know (and hadn't asked), but it’s all too easy to imagine Gellert reusing certain tactics.

Albus had considered using their visit as an opportunity to talk to Credence, but had never figured out what he would say. Tell Credence he wasn’t the only one Gellert had tricked and mislead, he supposed, but would that just make Credence feel like the latest of Gellert’s conquests?

Worse, Albus can’t stop the nagging concern that this impulse has more to do with seeking absolution for his own actions than trying to help Credence.  Deep down, does some part of him stubbornly hope that if he convinces Credence it wasn't his fault, he'll also stop blaming himself?

(It _is_ his fault, he knows it is. But oh, he wishes he could convince himself otherwise.)

He thinks to himself it’s all a moot point anyway, since he _doesn’t_ know what happened between Gellert and Credence. Perhaps it wasn’t anything like his own experience after all, and he’s just projecting, selfishly wishing there was someone else who shared his mistakes, someone else who would understand, even sympathize with his history with Gellert.

Or is he just telling himself that, because, really, he’s looking for any reason not to confess his past transgressions? He turns that question over and over in his head, but he can’t sort out where the right thing to do stops and where what he wants to do starts.

(He thinks that he might never figure that out when it comes to Gellert. His judgment there was so shortsighted and ruinous in the past that he never wants to rely on it again. But he has to, because there’s no one else’s judgment to trust.)

In the end, for reasons even he is uncertain of, he remains where he is and only watches from a distance.

**Author's Note:**

> I kept thinking I really wanted to write a fic where Dumbledore and Credence meet, since the whole Grindelwald thing sets up some really obvious parallels, but I couldn't figure out what they'd say to each other. So instead I wrote a fic about them not meeting. (Still not sure if that's creative problem solving or a cop-out, tbh.)


End file.
